We are all family...

This past weekend has been a total emotional roller coaster. On Saturday, my mother was admitted to the hospital and is now in the ICU with a myriad of serious infections and organ failure. Not to go into specifics, we have been through this before with her, and she always manages to pull through. In the mean time, my husband is in Denver on a combination business/family business trip. He and his sister and step-mother are looking at all of their options regarding his fathers Alzheimer's treatments and placement outside of the home. This whole process has been tearing my husband up inside. He feels so helpless and powerless living over 6 hours away. Also, over the weekend, our church decommissioned so to speak, our 30 year sanctuary as we processed into and held our first worship service in our new nearly 2 million dollar sanctuary complete with an amazing pipe organ. There were over 200 people at this service, which is what we usually have only on Easter Sunday. It was amazing, but also a little sad. Both of my children were baptized in the old sanctary and even though we have only been members of this church for just over 12 years, it was like saying goodbye to an old friend. During all of this, word started to get around about my mother's condition, who is also a member of our church. By the end of the service, I was getting offers for meals, babysitting, middle of the night emergency coverage of the kids in case I had to leave, and lots and lots of hugs. The leader of the service commented more than once during the service that "we are all family here". That really came to light yesterday. On Saturday, I felt pretty alone with my husband gone. I have left all of the doctor consultation to my sister over the weekend because she could get away at a moments notice to head up to the hospital since her husband was home. After yesterday, I know I have "family" I can call on if I need them. In the mean time, the doctors tell us it's a waiting game. I am not good at waiting. I am not good at hospital visiting. I never know what to do or say. Standing there looking at her on a respirator, non responsive, I wonder why I am there. I know this sounds cold, but I am just terribly uncomfortable. Like some people are uncomfortable on airplanes, in elevators, etc., I am uncomfortable with this entire prospect of serious illness and dying. I mentioned to my husband on the phone that my Grandfather died at 63, my grandmother died at 52 from suicide, my mother is possibly dying at 58, what does this mean for me? I am truly scared for my mother and for myself and my sister. Genetics are not on our side, and we have alot to overcome. In the mean time, I know I have my "family" around me and can call on them when I need them.